Bloodlines and Boundaries: Reclaiming My Right to Know

In shadows of families past, secrets hide

Withheld whispers of truth, kept deep inside

A maze of denial, a web of unspoken words

Echoes of silence, where pain quietly stirs

A daughter’s plea, a grandfather’s concern

Seeking answers untold, eager to learn

But walls of resistance, cold and high

Leave hearts in turmoil, beneath the sky

Yet love persists, a beacon bright

Guiding the way through the darkest night

In seeking the truth, in breaking the chains

We find strength in the midst of our pains

For family is more than just blood and name

It’s the bond that endures, the eternal flame

So persist, dear one, in your quest for light

And know that in love, all wrongs can be made right

My mother didn’t tell me when a close family friend passed away. She even tried to stop me from attending another funeral—of someone I’ve known all my life. The control, the silence, the constant gatekeeping of information—it never ends.

I’ve emailed her multiple times asking for medical history. No response. So when my ENT asked about my maternal grandmother’s brain tumor—my mother’s own mother—I knew she wouldn’t answer me if I tried again.

Normally, I keep my grandfather out of this mess. He’s a kind man who doesn’t deserve to be caught in the crossfire. But this time, I needed answers—answers that might impact my health. I was at his house, and I asked him to call her while I was there. He did. Put her on speaker.

She answered, gave the info I needed (reluctantly, but she gave it). My grandpa looked at me and asked, “Is that all you need?”I smiled, said, “Yup,” and went on about my day like the call never even happened.

Just for clarity: No, I don’t have a brain tumor. At least not that I know of. But I’ve been experiencing some strange symptoms, and my ENT said family history was important. What’s not important—anymore—is her power over me.

This post isn’t about drama. It’s about reclaiming the right to know my own story, my own history. It’s about choosing love over fear, clarity over silence. And realizing that sometimes, the strongest thing you can do... is simply ask.