Wiper Fluid

Stealing wiper fluid, what a thrill

I convinced him it’d be fun; I had my fill

But little did I know, the consequences ahead

The police showing up at 2AM, filling me with dread

I was 18 and 5 months pregnant, feeling so ashamed

As they wrote us each a ticket, our fingers were to blame

He was kicked out of my house, the trust was shattered

For a foolish act of rebellion, my heart now tattered

The thrill of the chase, the rush of the night

Blinded by excitement, I didn’t see the light

But now I sit alone, with a baby on the way

Regretting my actions, wishing for a better way

Stealing wiper fluid, a foolish escapade

But now I’ve learned my lesson, the price I have paid

No more seeking thrills, no more getting in trouble

I’ll focus on being a mother and building a life that’s double

Talking about my son's father again, and really understanding more of his treatment towards me, (NEVER an excuse for how he treated our son) I was pregnant and we were driving around in the middle of the night with my friends. I know now, that I should've been home. I was in fact, pregnant... We were at a gas station that was closed. I thought it would be funny to steal a pack of wiper fluid that was outside. I convinced him to do so. He was the one that grabbed it an threw it in the car. I thought that was that. At 2AM there was a loud knock on the door. My son's father was living with my mother and I at the time. The police wrote us each a ticket, and the next day my mother kicked him out. Because, you know, it was all his fault, right? No. It was mine. Just the many regrets I have on how I treated his father. Because despite my life being unfair and unjust, I must recognize that there are people I hurt and have caused trauma to as well. I recognize now, that his behavior towards me, was simply because he loved me, and I treated him like trash, I really did.

#Trauma

#Regret

#CPTSD