Whispers and Echoes

In the quiet corners of my heart

Secrets whispered, never to part

I hold the close, a silent vow

Even when the ties are broken now

They spill my truths, half-truths, and lies

While I defend them, tears in my eyes

A mother’s silence, a lifelong chain

Yet other’s betrayals bring a different pain

Why do they scatter what I keep so dear?

Their voices loud, while mine disappears

I seek an answer in the night’s embrace

A reason for this unkind, cruel chase

But perhaps the strength lies in my soul

In holding secrets, making me whole

For in their noise, I find my peace

A quiet strength that will never cease

I hold so many secrets that it causes me to overload sometimes. I hold in everyone's secrets. But even when relationships severe, they stay in my mind. Yet, my secrets do not. I have clearly not learned the lesson yet, to not trust people. To not tell people everything about myself. My experience is that it's shared, it's used to mock and make fun, start drama, or just for someone to, I don't know. It's still happening. With family, and I don't really have friends anymore, so... It sucks that I've been drawn to people who have ill intentions my entire life. To the point where I'm (at the time of this post) 39 years old sitting at my computer alone at 1:30 AM typing this. I just crave connection I don't think I'll ever get. How do you explain to a new group of people, to a new partner, my life. Why I don't have any friends, why my son doesn't talk to me, why both my parents are alive but it's as if they've both been buried, why my mother couldn't care less if I were dead, and more. I can't. So, I choose to stay silent, stay to myself, get off social media, and only ever do what's best for me. I guess I'll just become selfish, like they all say I am. I will keep their secrets and let them trash talk me and spill all of my secrets.

#Secrets

#Gossip

#MissyElliot