Untold Trauma Bond

In the grips of a bond, twisted and tight

A web of trauma, a relentless fight

To a mother figure, tangled in pain

Emotions entwined, a turbulent reign

Yearning for love, yet met with despair

Gasping for air in a suffocating snare

Behaviors skewed by the ties that bind

Confusion and longing, the heart confined

A dance of control, of power and fear

Whispers of love, yet danger near

Trauma’s mark etched deep within

A cycle of hurt that seems to win

Yearning for freedom, a flicker of light

Yet bound by the bond, a relentless plight

In the twisted embrace of a mother’s hold

A complex tapestry of stories untold

I have learned about the term “trauma bond,” which is an incredibly painful experience. When I don’t comply with her wishes, she distances herself from me. I find myself striving to prove my worthiness of her love and respect, unable to control my behaviors as I yearn for her attention. I used to go to great lengths to seek acknowledgement, even resorting to getting into trouble. This is when my mother showed me the most love. I now realize that it fulfilled her need for attention, sympathy, and pity, and I would be rewarded, often financially, in some way.

A trauma bond is a deeply ingrained connection that is difficult to sever. It becomes embedded in your subconscious mind, necessitating extensive therapy and the rewiring of your brain over many years. The persistent feeling of “I need my mother” has proven to be exceptionally challenging to overcome. I have been conditioned to believe that I require her presence, that I am incapable of surviving without her, and that I am dependent on her for my existence. However, I am now gaining a clearer understanding, and each passing day sees a gradual fading of these subconscious beliefs.

#TraumaBond

#CPTSD