Trauma's Abyss

She stood om the edge of abyss

Her heart heavy with pain and regret

The weight of her past was too much to bear

And she was ready to forget

​But something inside her stirred

A voice that whispered, "hold on"

She took a step back from the edge

And the darkness began to dawn

She had survived a life of trauma

Of pain and abuse and fear

But she was stronger than she knew

And her spirit began to clear

She found the courage to seek help

To face the demons of her past

And though the journey was long and hard

She knew she had to last

For in the end, she found her light

A reason to keep on living 

And though the scars would never fade

She knew she was forgiving

So, if you're standing on that edge

And the darkness is closing in

Remember that you're not alone

And that you can begin again

I titled this, "Trauma's Abyss," because that's what trauma is like to me. Even after healing it lingers. There are always moments of distress. For most of my life, I've felt like the misery was never going to end. Just stuck in situations that "I" created, and being confused, lost, and wandering around with no direction or purpose. Unable to see my worth and find myself. That is no longer the case, but these are the emotions this poem stems from. Living with CPTSD, there are always going to be triggers. I'm able to manage them well now, but I will always be able to feel my trauma, to feel other's trauma, and always remember what it was like to experience everything I experienced. It helps me to help other people now. Which is also common for survivors to get into careers from experience. It's also a people-pleasing thing, but for me, it's mostly that I didn't have someone like me, and I want to be like that for other people.

#Trauma

#CPTSD

#Emotions