A mother’s love, a mother’s pain
To carry life, then lose again
Twins in my womb, two precious girls
I hid the truth, I lied in fear
Of losing love, of losing cheer
But pain and sorrow, they came to stay
And I drank my problems all away
Placental abruption, endometriosis
A survey of the heart’s prognosis
How different would life be today
If my body hadn’t turned away
But still I carry their love within
Two angels lost, but not forgotten
I hold them close, in tears and prayer
And hope for peace beyond despair
For the love of a mother never fades
Through heartache and the darkest shades
I dream of the day we’ll meet again
My precious twins, my eternal friends
I've been pregnant quite a few times. I made it to 7 months with my twin girls. However, I lied to my boyfriend about losing them. I was in the ER by myself. The fear of abandonment and him leaving me, caused my to deliver stillborn twins all by myself. I didn't call anyone, I didn't tell anyone. I came home from the hospital that night, and was a raging bitch. I didn't say anything because I knew he was going to leave me.
It was a placental abruption. Woke up bleeding and waited too long to go to the ER. There was no heartbeat by the time I got there, which was hours later. I delivered them all on my own. They ended up being buried in a plot in Madison, Wisconsin where all the babies used to go that parents couldn't pay for or didn't want to. Later, I'd be diagnosed with endometrioses and I'd have a hysterectomy. By the time this is posted, they would've been almost 20 years old this year. As I'm hysterically crying now, I'm clearly not healed from this, and this could be the reason why I was stuck on my ex for decades without contact. So I'm going to end this post, because I have now ruined my Saturday by posting this.
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