(Name kept private), your words cut like a blade
But the bruises go deeper, the scars never fade
You claim black eyes are not a sign of misuse
Yet your actions betray the truth of abuse
Slapping, spitting, each cruel debase
Leaving a soul shattered without a trace
Controlling finances, a leash on freedom
Isolation's chains, suffocating in the night
You bear the weight of unfounded blame
But truth speaks louder than your tarnished name
In your gaslit gaze, I once sought truth's gaze
But found only echoes of relentless malaise
Your perfection, a mask for the chaos inside
In your words, manipulation and contempt collide
But know this, my spirit won't be destroyed
For within me, resilience will be deployed
I am not alone, I am not to blame
In seeking help, I can break free from this game
Reach out to those who offer genuine care
And know that my worth is beyond all compare
In the beginning, my ex-fiancé appeared kind, caring, and understanding. However, after a short while, he callously admitted, "I already have you. I don't need to make an effort anymore." His behavior included multiple instances of infidelity, alongside constant degradation, belittlement, and making me feel insignificant. He physically abused me frequently, but it was his cruel and demeaning words that haunt me. He justified his actions by claiming he was teaching me a lesson I deserved. Despite almost marrying him, I am grateful for the experience as it led me back to my home state and provided invaluable life lessons. My mother always told everyone that I am the way I am because of my father being absent, but that's only a small part. She is the reason I chose friends who treated me the way they did, the reason I chose men who treated me the way she did, and the reason I pushed everyone away, often with psychotic tactics, that were good to me and healthy for me. I chose relationships based on what I thought I deserved; based on what my environment told me I deserved.
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