Spoiled With Conditions

In the twisted dance of manipulation's sway

A mother's money, a game she'd play

Using it as a reward, a twisted token

But never an apology, her words unspoken

Special gifts, bestowed upon with a smile

Yet beneath the surface, a motive so vile

Leveraging the presents, her control in disguise

To paint me as ungrateful, a truth she'd revise

She'd flaunt the gifts, a weapon in her hand

Telling others the story, as she'd planned

A narrative of spoiledness, woven with deceit

A web of manipulation, so hard to retreat

But deep within, I know the truth

Her actions, her words, a twisted sleuth

For material things cannot mask the pain

Nor can they rewrite the truth's domain

I am not defined by her twisted game

Nor by the labels she tries to proclaim

For beneath the surface, my spirit remains true

Unbreakable, resilient, rising anew

I'll break free from the cycle, the chains that bind

Embracing my worth, my voice to find

For I am not spoiled, but deserving of love

A truth she cannot taint, nor push and shove

In the face of her manipulation's hold

I'll rise above, my spirit bold

For the power of her money holds no sway

In the face of truth, it fades away

I'll reclaim my worth, my spirit untamed

No longer defined by her games unclaimed

For my value lies not in material things

But in the love I give, the joy it brings

The outside world saw exactly what my mother wanted them to see; A mother who "gave up her life" for an ungrateful, spoiled rotten little brat. (Or shit, depending on the day and person) Fancy clothes, cars, phones, food, you name it, I likely had it. What people didn't see is the anguish and conditions that came with these gifts. They were controlled, monitored, used as blackmail, held over my head for all eternity, etc. But let's say for a minute that her claims are true; Okay, if I'm just a spoiled rotten little shit, then why do you continue to spoil me if I'm such a brat? Well, she'd tell people she feels guilty about my father, and that's why she does it, and the irony in this, is that she uses that same phrase with my son... "I feel guilty about his mother, that's why I do it. I have to because no one else will." Maybe she does. Maybe subconsciously she feels guilty for treating my father and myself the way she did, but then she compensates by doing the same things; Calls my son crazy, ungrateful, lazy, selfish, and spoiled. She does "everything" for him, too. To me, that just sounds like her next supply. She is constantly telling my grandfather, her father, how mean he is to her, how he does nothing, says nothing, and bitches about him constantly. Sounds familiar to me... What do you think?

#CPTSD #Spoiled #Brat #Control #Manipulation