Self-Care
- Hannah L
- Dec 20, 2024
- 2 min read
In a world of chaos, I learned to care
To tame my mane and paint my nails with flair
Matching outfits, feeling so refined
Less anxious now, with peace of mind
No more nail-biting, nerves under control
Legs perfectly shaved, maintaining the goal
Clean house, tidy bed, a sanctuary of peace
A transformed spirit, finding release
Removed from darkness, a healing path I tread
Productivity blooms where once I had dread
No longer drowning in waves of despair
I rise, I thrive, beauty beyond compare
I can't remember a time in my life that I wasn't anxious or nervous until recently. While I still struggle more than the average person, I do have many moments of peace and calm. I've learned that I've been biting my nails my entire life because of stress, anxiety, and my environment. I can go many months without biting them now. I like to paint my nails, but had to teach myself how to do so. At first, it was like a 5 year old painting nails, because I didn't know how. If you're not taught, you just don't know. I'm doing pretty good now, staying in the lines. :) I've also learned how to dress. My mother insisted on telling me what to wear everyday. Even when back to school shopping, she would manipulate my mind into "Wanting" what clothes she wanted me to have. She was constantly telling me something didn't match. Not telling me, but making fun of me. Not showing or teaching me, but screaming and calling names. I treasure dressing up now, and I like that I have options, since I've lost so much weight. My house is clean. Being busy about 12-15 hours a day makes it difficult to clean the way I want to, but it's clean. My bed is made everyday, my toilet is scrubbed, the floors are vacuumed and mopped.
Being diagnosed with the correct mental health diagnosis, AuDHD, I am finally on the correct medication. Meaning, I can concentrate, and I'm not stressed like I used to be, so I can focus.
When you not only grow up living in filth and disorganization, but you're stressed and depressed, you don't get the chance to learn how to keep a home. Allowing myself to make mistakes without screaming at myself, has allowed me to learn. We don't learn by being called a dumbass for not knowing how to do something we weren't taught.
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