My Truth

They say I’m complaining

But I’m only sharing my truth

I was taught to blame

To cover up the trauma of my youth

Every family has its problems, they say

But not every family blames the victim

In such a cruel way

No one tells her to stop

To heal, to embrace

No one tells her to grow up, to face

The pain and the suffering

The scars so deep

Only I am told to get over it

To finally sleep

I’m the one who cries every night

While she is happy

Relieved from her plight

I’m finally no longer her responsibility, they Cheer

But this is my voice and I will not be silenced

I will not live in fear

I will speak my truth

I will stand my ground

I will not be shut down

I will not be bound

I will heal, I will rise

I will shine

This is my life, my story

And it’s finally my time

To reclaim my voice

To reclaim my power

To let go of the blame

To bloom like a flower

I will not be silenced

I will not be denied

This is my life, my truth

And I will not hide

I’m constantly told that I “can’t” blame my mother, that I must “stop” blaming my mother, and that I should just “get over it already.” I’m sorry, how would you like me to get over three decades of being manipulated, gaslighted, lied to, abused, made fun of, mocked, and treated like someone’s pawn rather than their child? My blame goes where it’s needed; to my mother, to her mother, and to whoever this generational bull shit started. Can I forgive her, them? Yes, but I will blame them, and I also blame myself for my son’s emotions and how I treated him, because I was a shitty mother. The blame is directed where it deserves to be directed to. My mother never blames herself for anything, she blames everyone else for her life’s problems. I’ve taken the blame for over three decades when it comes to her, and I will no longer do that. I am not her problem; she is her own problem.