Today is my birthday, a day or celebration
But it’s hard to find joy in this situation
I’ll probably buy myself something nice
But deep down inside, it’s hard to feel alright
I miss my kid with all my heart
His absence is tearing me apart
I wish I could hold him and never let go
But today, he’s not here, and it hurts me more than he knows
I have two living parents who couldn’t care less
Their absence on my birthday is a painful mess
I long for their love and their warm embrace
But today, I have to find solace in a different place
I’m single and there’s no partner to surprise
No one to share in the birthday highs
I don’t have many friends, I keep to myself
Because I’m still learning boundaries, and protecting my heart’s wealth
So, on this day that’s meant for cheer
I’ll try to find joy, I’ll try to persevere
I’ll be kind to myself, I’ll treat myself right
And even in the sadness, I’ll find a bit of light
My birthday reminds me of my mother on her birthdays. She made it clear that her birthday's always suck and I ruin every one of them. So, I'm triggered, but I'm also alone. Yeah, I have family, but no, I don't really have friends. I have people who call me their friends, some call me their best friend. But when it comes to me, no one really shows up. I don't feel that I have a friend, not a true friend at least. I spend my birthday's alone. My thoughts get to me. My birthday's are a day for crying in bed with a bucket of ice cream and watching sad movies. I'm not really complaining. It's not really my fault but it also is. I've just had such unhealthy relationships and I don't trust myself, so I don't try to make new ones. I have my dog, but it's not the same. I'm just lonely on these days.
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