Musical Love

In the echoes of memories, a song plays on

A melody of love, now faded and gone

George Strait’s voice, crossing your heart

A passion ignited, a flame from the start

I remember the fervor in your voice and face

As the music enveloped us, in its embrace

Like yesterday, it lingers in my mind

The way you held me tightly, love intertwined

“Shameless” played, and our hearts danced

A moment of connection, a timeless chance

You tipped your hat, a gesture so sweet

For I was the keeper of the stars, complete

But somewhere along the way, I stumbled and fell

Lost in the chaos, trapped in my own spell

I had it all, but let it slip away

Now I’m left with regrets, longing to replay

I miss you, oh how I miss your touch

I warmth of your love, I miss it so much

I love you still, though time has passed

But I don’t know how to stop, how to make it last

In this bittersweet symphony, I find myself lost

Yearning for a love that came at such a cost

But I’ll hold onto the memories, the love we shared

Even if it’s just a whisper, a memory ensnared

For love, it lingers, even when hearts break

A reminder of the joy, the risk we take

I’ll cherish the moments, the passion we knew

And find a way to heal, to start anew

I think the worst part about this ex of mine is that I thought our connection was so strong back then, and that it still lingered. How much could you have really meant to someone, how can you believe those words were ever true, when they don’t have the decency to give you that answer and let you let them go? They tell you that you have to be clear with men. Telling someone you need closure, and do you feel the same, sounds pretty clear to me. He instead chose to ignore. So, the worst part is not his silence, it’s realizing maybe he didn’t feel how he felt. This is the problem with people like me who feel so intensely and have PTSD or CPTSD. Especially with music. Music is what brings me back to times, whether good or bad. I will never be able to not think of him, or anyone, with really any song. The feelings I had back then were so strong, that this has been quite a difficult process for me to finally fully grieve and let go. The grief stages fluctuate so much, but at least I got a little angry the other day. Then this idea got in my head, and it is a rough day again. Good thing I’ve got some kiddos with me. The nights are less lonely, and I post less on Facebook because my time is consumed. 😊 (Written on 03/30/2024)

#Processing

#Grief

#Love