Misdiagnosis

In the depths of despair, I stood accused

Diagnosed with a label, so cruelly infused

Bipolar they said, my mind in disarray

But the truth be told, it was my mother’s play

Her lies and her acts, they painted me black

A canvas of chaos, a distorted attack

She twisted my words, and silenced my cries

To shield herself from her own dark lies

The medication, it numbed my soul

A puppet to her, my spirit not whole

But through the fog, a flicker of light

I found my truth, and took back my right

No longer a pawn in her twisted game

I broke free from the cycle, no longer the same

I am not broken, I am not flawed

I am not the villain in her façade

So here I stand, reclaiming my truth

A survivor of lies, a fighter of youth

No label defines me, no falsehoods endure

I am my own voice, strong and pure

Doctors misdiagnose patients all the time, and it’s not always due to bias or malicious intent. It happens. Especially with autoimmune diseases. However, that was not my case. It’s not even about the misdiagnosis or the lack of compassion, it’s about the complete disregard of me as a human, as a woman, and the need to constantly blame everything on a mental illness I didn’t even have. For me, it’s about screaming for help through my behaviors. Behaviros even I didn't understand, but they were supposed to be trained to spot. It’s about two decades of no treatment for illnesses that spiraled into others. It’s about justice, awareness and prevention. It’s about my truth and my voice.

The behaviors I exhibited were symptoms of my environment. The power of my mother’s manipulations, lies, and the information she withheld added to those biased opinions. They diagnosed me as bipolar. Medicated me heavily for decades. Sometimes overmedicated me, but they were okay with that because my symptoms were never getting better. Which in my opinion, is a red flag and a sign that something deeper is wrong. Now, no psych medications other than Strattera for ADHD. I’ll again state that I’ve never felt better in my life. But that doesn’t matter to anyone in that state. All they see is what my mother tells them. All they see is a crazy criminal. They don't see that I've been screaming, both consciously and unconsciously for their help my entire life. All my mother will ever see is a daughter that is not compliant, doesn’t like to gossip or make fun of others, changing her life for the better, uncovering her secrets, and she hates that. It pisses her off. Her denial is her downfall. I will never get an apology from anyone in that state, for the way my life turned out. It’s not a child’s responsibility to know they’re being abused, it’s theirs. The law is there for a reason, but because we're human, the law is not followed. Not by authorities, not the judges or courts, no one. If it were, I firmly believe none of this would have happened. Sometimes the people responsible are never held accountable for their actions, but it doesn’t mean karma, the universe, or God won’t take care of it. This is how I forgive and move on.

#Misdiagnosed

#Bias #MedicalNeglect