I should’ve listened to the signs
My body gave a warning call
Your cause may be noble and divine
But your actions have me appalled
I discovered you stealing charity funds
Selfishness oozing from your being
My fear of you only deepens and runs
My body tenses, my mind reeling
I hope you find the help you need
To heal the darkness within your soul
May you break free from your greed
And find a path towards being whole
Your actions have left me wary
But I wish you strength and grace
May you find the help necessary
To mend and find a better place
When you have a strong passion for something, some people see that as a sign that they can use your kindness to their advantage. I have a future goal of opening a non-profit, and somehow ran into this woman who serves meals to the homeless population. It was going to take a lot of work for me to start one on my own, and I thought the universe was bringing us together. She already had the status, and I decided to become a member of her board and join our ideas together.
Within just the first week, I found myself breaking the boundaries I was trying to set. I told her my situation several times, yet I found myself doing most of the groundwork, behind the scenes, while she posted about everything, she was doing on her own on the Facebook page for the non-profit. It’s not about credit, but I was being overworked, working around 50 hours a week, for free, while trying to maintain my schooling, hobbies, and life stuff.
She had accepted a donation of clothes but didn’t check into the quantity. There were one hundred very heavy boxes of sweatshirts to be passed out. Long story short, those boxes ended up coming to my apartment, because she didn’t have anywhere to store them. She also “couldn’t” help me, despite knowing of my spine conditions and weight limitations. It took me 9 hours, but I carried all one hundred boxes up those stairs myself, into my one-bedroom apartment. She had promised to come help sort, but never did. I then proceed to go through each box and sort the sweatshirts by their sizes and put them in garbage bags. Each time we passed them out, I had to take all the bags down the stairs, load my car, and set them up. However, this was winter, and I live in the Midwest, so that means snow. She was constantly on her Facebook page saying she had no winter clothing, and that the homeless were cold. But I couldn’t live in my apartment because it was overrun by clothes. Every time I mentioned the clothes, she’d tell me I’m being difficult and produce some reason as to why they need to stay in my apartment.
There were many things that didn’t make sense. There were many instances of guilting me into doing something I was unable to do but did anyway. There were times my car was loaded with food donations that she promised to get and store somewhere. So many instances of manipulation and narcissistic behaviors.
The last straw for me was when she was at my house, and we were in a meeting with a grant organization. One in which we didn’t qualify for. It’s like she looked right past that, and shamed and blamed me for not bringing grant money and programs into the organization when she wouldn’t give me what I need to write the grants.
In the 3 months I was involved, she never gave me the financials of the business, despite asking several times. People would donate money to the business, and she would pay her personal bills. She even paid her personal court debt with charity money. She got donations from churches consistently, but never used the money for what she said she was going to. She openly told me she “deserves” the money, and that she pays her own bills, which is illegal. She was on the phone in another place, trying to partner with them. She sat there and told them how she has no help, (while sitting on my couch, by the way) that she does everything. That she’s designing the website (I was doing that) stores all the donations at her house (most were at mine), that she writes all the grants, all the thank you letters, (they wouldn’t have gone out without me) and that everyone lets her down. Her behavior was erratic, talking fast, mouth dry, it made me believe she was on drugs. My body tensed up like it hasn’t since the day I was physically assaulted after my surgery. That’s when I started working on my way out, and I found one.
There were past board members I reached out to during this process. Board members I heard stole from her. Not the case. They all had the same concerns, drugs, theft, and complete disorganization. With the help of them, I contacted the IRS, attorney general, and the police. As it was my ethical duty. After this, I too, was accused of stealing donations. Until I went on their Facebook page and screenshotted all the correspondence, I asked her to come get them, showing pictures of how my apartment was overrun by these donations. Then I was blocked from the page.
The worst part, is that this organization was started because her son died of an overdose. It seems as if she's using her son's death to gain financial incentive and praise. Everyone heals and grieves differently, but this situation just screams red flag to me. She needs help.
Now, I only volunteer with a few organizations. I don’t get too involved other than volunteering my time. I’m focusing on my school, hobbies, and upcoming internship as a clinical psychologist. I’m learning how to listen to my body more effectively, so that I’m no longer putting myself in situations like these.
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