What if they doubt, their words a haunting sound
What if fear spreads, like vines upon the ground
What if they warn, filling you with dread
What if their whispers fill your heart with lead
But what if you soar, defying their decree
Carving your path, setting your spirit free
What if love finds you, igniting a flame
Filling your days with joy, banishing all shame
What if it’s the greatest choice you’ll ever make
Their lack of faith in you, a mere mistake
What if you trust in yourself, taking that leap
For your belief, in the end, will run deep
What if you conquer doubts, with unwavering might
Embracing the unknown, basking in the light
What if you prove them wrong, against all odds
Writing your story, guided by your Gods
So, let their words fade, like whispers in the air
For your dreams and aspirations, they shall bear
What if you rise, beyond their limited view
Discovering strength within, as you journey anew
It's hard to have faith in yourself and remain positive when everyone around you tells you you're not going to succeed. My dreams were not supported. They were "Stupid and crazy." I was told consistently that I shouldn't try because I'm never going to make it. It wasn't just my mother, it was my friends, my family, my teachers, the doctors, and the police; it was everyone. "What if you fail? How are you going to pay back your student loans? What makes you think you're capable of that? That's a stupid idea. What makes you think you're so special? Why even try? Did you think about this? Did you think about that? Why do you want to do that? What's wrong with you?" My mother would go as far as to laugh about my dreams, and tell people I have these "Grand" ideas that I'm not capable of, and use that as a reason to justify "Mania" from bipolar. My dreams and aspirations were shut down at every corner, and I was made to believe I was going insane. Having faith in myself was never going to be possible until I broke free from the chains everyone held me down with.
You know what happened when I finally stopped listening to everyone's low opinion of me? I completed college, with honors, when everyone told me I wasn't going to make it. I started my master's program when they all told me I couldn't do it. I'm now in my internship as a clinical social worker when everyone told me that was too much and I wouldn't be able to do it. Heck, I had strep throat and COVID within two weeks of each other and I still got stuff done. Despite how much I continue to show people that I am special, that I am capable, and that I can do it, their criticisms and judgments never stop, but I keep going. They will watch me win. They will watch me complete my goals and fulfill my dreams. My mother will continue to tell people this is not who I am, and I am just manipulating everyone and lying about my achievements, but you know what? All it does not is add more fuel to my drive. I don't need to show them. I need to show myself that I am worthy of being happy and worthy of accomplishing things without fear of being "Manic." I am not their scapegoat. They can no longer dump all their shit on me. They need a new victim, because I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor.
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