Independence

I don’t need a man to lift me up

I’ve rescued myself from the depths below

I am my own hero, my own savior

And that is something men often don’t know

They want us to be strong and free

But when we prove it, they’re taken back

They want to be the ones to save the day

But I don’t need them for that, I’ve got my own back

I’ve faced challenges and stood my ground

I’ve conquered fears and taken control

I don’t need a man to rescue me

I am my own rescuer, body and soul

So, if my independence scares them away

I’ll wear it proudly, unapologetically

I don’t need a man to define my worth

I am complete on my own, fearlessly free

Something I notice now in my ex, was that he was very good at communication when he reached out. He told me he missed me, asked a lot of questions, etc. I also noticed that after a while, after sharing my progress, that after each achievement I completed that I told him about, he would communicate less. When I mentioned I pay my rent in advance, I notice now he read it but took a while to respond. When I said I pay my own bills, he didn't write as much. I realize now, that once I discussed my extreme independence, he withdrew, and a lot. It was also once he was added on my Facebook page, so there's that, too. I noticed the same pattern as he spoke of his ex, his kids mom, that she too, was broken, and she too burned him. I noticed my ex needs someone he can save. I feel like that probably comes from his mother being sick for most of his life, and watching his father having to take care of her. Yup, that's me analyzing him, and I'm pretty confident on that, knowing his relationship pattern.

I noticed the same pattern in this guy I was talking to for 3 short days. (For a later post) He kept trying to help me with stuff. I kept telling him that I can do it on my own. He kept trying to force his help upon me, even though I'm clearly showing I don't need it. Not just showing it but saying it. It felt like he was going to dominate and isolate me from my independence.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Men seem to want to save women. Like women want to be saved. (We can definitely thank movies, the media, and the news for this!) When a woman is independent, it seems to be a turn off for most men. If we can't be saved they don't want us, and they have no idea we just want to love them the way they deserve to be loved. But I also, we also as women, deserve to be loved the way we love. Independence should not be a factor in that. Men lose interest when they can't do everything for a woman, yet, when a woman is incapable of doing things for themselves, men criticize that and try to seek another woman that seems to need fixing and the cycle just continues. I don't know, maybe I'm drawn to men that need to save women. But I'm not anymore. If an man can't love me for my independence, and commit to a 50/50 relationship where we both work on the relationship, and both provide equal emotional support, then I'll just continue to love myself. It's not worth the headache or drama. I am independent. I don't need a man in my life. It would be nice and I long for it, but I definitely don't need it. And if that intimidates and pushes a man away, then so be it. You're not worthy of the love I have to offer. I don't need saving, I need loving.

#Independent

#DestinysChild