Another January Without You

On New Year’s Day, the sun rises anew

But in my heart, the sorrow still brews

I slept through yesterday, dreading the dawn

Another year without you, a pain so drawn

Struggles ahead, time passing by

Without you near, I don’t know why

Moving forward feels like a daunting task

In the shadows of grief, a difficult mask

Radical acceptance, a concept so bold

Yet in the absence of you, it’s hard to hold

Missing you deeply, yearning for your touch

New Year’s challenges, feeling like too much

But in the quiet moments, I find a glimmer of light

A reminder of love, shining so bright

Though you’re not here, I carry you near

In my heart, in my soul, forever, my dear

I wish I could say the new year started off strong for me. But the truth is, I slept through New Year’s Eve, dreading the arrival of another year spent without my son. I live alone. Holidays are hard. The buildup, the expectations, the silence afterward—it all hits like a wave.

Today, I’m trying to hold onto the idea of radical acceptance. It's a concept I've been working on in therapy—accepting what is, rather than what I wish could be. But that doesn't make it easy. Missing someone you love deeply never gets easier—it just changes shape over time.

To my readers, I truly hope your new year started on a joyful note. If you're hungover, in jail, or paying the price of a wild night—I’ve been there, too. No judgment here. I’ve made mistakes, done reckless things, and felt lost in more ways than I can count.

But whether your New Year started with a bang or a whimper, I hope this year brings you clarity, comfort, and healing—whatever that means for you. Be gentle with yourself. You’re allowed to carry both grief and hope into this next chapter.