Food Addict

When my emotions run deep and strong

Food becomes my refuge, where I belong

I hunger when I’m upset, just like my mother

Who found comfort in food, like no other

When sadness fills my heart with its weight

I turn to food to alleviate the ache

I watched my mother find solace in eating

And now I follow her footsteps, repeating

But it’s not just in moments of sorrow or strife

That I turn to food to bring back joy in life

When happiness abounds and I’m filled with glee

I seek out food to celebrate, just like she

My relationship with food is deeply tied

To the way my mother used it, satisfied

It’s a bond that’s shaped by emotion and care

A legacy passed down, a connection we share

So, when hunger strikes, in moments high or low

I look to food, because it’s where I know

I can feel close, to my mother once more

And find the comfort I’ve been longing for

When emotional, my mother would eat. She would eat, and eat, and eat. She always talked about how it made her feel better. She told me that cooking good food is how you show people you love them. We ate out often. I learned from a young age that food is how you feel better. I found myself doing the same thing without realizing exactly what I was doing. My entire adult life, I gradually gained weight, to the point of morbid obesity. Hence, the bariatric surgery in September, 2023. The weight I'm at now, (written 06/25/2024) I haven't been at since I was pregnant with my son in 2004. I have worked through my food addiction. Although, I still relapse and struggle, but I know about it, and correct it. My mother claims I'm on drugs, and that's why I'm losing so much weight. My mother is at her heaviest ever, and so is my son. She's doing what I used to do: Judging other's healing and change, because that's easier than focusing on yourself and doing something about it. Food addiction is hard, because we need food to live. We can't just stay away from it like a substance or a cigarette. I'm getting there. Becoming my healthiest version yet, despite her critical, judgmental, and abusive remarks.

#FoodAddict

#CPTSD

#WeightLoss