Flexible Boundaries

Finding the line is a delicate dance

Between kindness and self-preservation

Sometimes I bend too far, too eager to please

Other times, I stand firm, almost dismissive

It’s a struggle to establish and maintain

Boundaries that are flexible yet strong

I want to be kind, but not at the expense

Of my own well-being and sense of worth

I yearn for balance, to find the sweet spot

Where I can be generous without losing myself

It’s a journey of trial and error, learning and growth

To navigate the murky waters of people-pleasing

I will keep searching, keep striving

To honor my needs while still connecting with others

Finding the line may be rough, but I’ll keep trying

To maintain the delicate balance of kindness and boundary

It's been super difficult for me to place boundaries and hold to them. I've spent most my life considering what other's want, that I've sacrificed my wants and needs. The second I tried to set one with my mother, I'd become selfish. The second I'd do something for myself instead of her, I'd become selfish. I learned in my environment that my wants, likes, needs, they didn't matter. I learned that I was selfish for thinking of myself first. I was constantly scolded, called names, and told things like, "You only ever think of yourself," so often, that it became a part of who I am. It became a need to not upset anyone, and do whatever necessary to make everyone happy but myself.

I know longer work through trauma with my therapist. I now work with these types of things; of course, there's the occasional emotional struggle, but not often anymore. How to change my subconscious thinking, how to re-wire what I've learned from my environment, how to keep a positive mindset, and how to grow and become a better person. My life has never been as good as it is now, mentally and physically. Just navigating boundaries has been super difficult.

#Boundaries