In the shadows of cruel words and jest
You mocked her, put her to the test
Like Eeyore from tales of Pooh
You belittled her, her spirit you’d subdue
Her appearance, her life, you’d scorn
Reminding all of the day she was born
Her children, her weight, her sorrowful face
No kindness shown, no grace to embrace
Yet when she left, her spirit set free
You feigned sadness, a false decree
Her funeral, a stage for your own play
Her love unreciprocated, fading away
The one you criticized, the one you’d deride
Yet in her heart, love never denied
She saw beyond your façade of pain
Her love for you, a gentle rain
In the echoes of your careless jest
Lies the truth of a friendship put to the test
For she was the one who loved you true
In spite of the darkness, her light shone through
My mother had this friend that worshipped the ground she walks on. She actually has a few of them. This specific friend had no idea what my mother thought about her, how she talked about her, and how much she annoyed her. My mother often referenced her as Eeyore, from “Winnie the Pooh.” She talked about how she never smiled, was depressing to be around, numb, boring and more. She mocked her and made fun of her constantly, never around her, of course. She made fun of the clothes she wore, the music and food she liked, all while pretending to be her best friend. She talked about how fat she was, her loose skin showing, how ugly her clothes were, how ugly her children were, and loved to gloat about the fact that her husband wanted my mother first. She referenced this friend as getting her “sloppy seconds.” But made sure to mention how ugly her husband was too, and that he “never had a chance with me anyway.” She referenced how dorky her husband was, and that they were a match made in heaven because they’re both the most boring people.
This is the funeral my mother tried to prevent me from attending and made the funeral all about her. As the pastor was preaching about family issues, how it’s too late once someone is gone, I had to stand up and leave so that she didn’t see me bawling my eyes out. I sat in my car for a few minutes, and half expected her to come out after me. She never did. Instead, sat directly across from me at the luncheon, and stared at me with an evil, hateful glare. (That’s the mother in me that talks about myself while this post is supposed to be about this woman I’ve known my entire life… Working on breaking these habits.)
When my mother’s mother passed away in March 2010, this friend called me and said she wanted to come see us. She was living in my home state, where I live now, and we lived about 450 miles away in another state. I told her my mother would love that, and that would be special. I mean, it’s what I would’ve done, and have done, several times. When I told my mother, she got pissed. “I don’t want her here. The last thing I need is a depressed woman who can’t show emotion trying to comfort me while she's actually annoying the fuck out of me. What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck is she thinking? What a dumbass. You're a dumbass for telling her to come.” She came. She took us out to eat and brought us both gifts. She was great at comforting both of us. I was genuinely happy to see her. My mother was not, although she pretended to be so. When her friend went home, my mother sighed a large and loud sigh of relief and said, “I’m glad she’s gone. That was a fucking nightmare.” Which was confusing, right? Because that’s not at all the impression that she gave to either of us. I mean, I lived with her and still didn’t expect that reaction, because she looked like she was happy she was there and having a good time.
There is more, and I’m sure it’ll come out later, somewhere. Maybe, if you know me, you’re starting to understand, or already understand why I used to be the way I was. Hopefully, you’ll too, see my change and forgive me for the things I’ve done.
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