In a world of empathy, a gift so pure
We sense the soul’s whispers, emotions we endure
Through gentle hearts and boundless care
We unravel stories, burdens we share
Mistaken for kindness, this empathy true
We seek to understand, to walk in your shoe
Seeing the good in all, a light so bright
Yet shadows lurk, hidden from sight
Vulnerable we stand, with love our shield
Believing in the good, in every battlefield
But hurt can come, from unexpected places
Leaving scars on our empathetic faces
Society loves to say things like, "Why did they date them in the first place? Why didn't they just leave? I wouldn't do that. I would do this. I would, I would, I would," or, "I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't." They don't know what they would do. None of us do. We can't know what we would do unless we've done it. When you're in the moment, you don't think clearly. You don't make good choices because you work out of fear. At least, those of us who were not raised in an environment that taught us self-worth and love, our brains work off survival. Our brains make decisions based on how we survived our environments. We attach to unhealthy people based on what we're taught we deserve. The relationships I've been in, have been a reflection of what my parents taught me I deserved. Red flags were my normal. They weren't red flags to me. They were what I deserved. My father sexually assaulting me, opened that up to continue to happen to me, because that's what I was taught. My mother and how she spoke to me, the manipulation, gaslighting and abuse, was how people treated each other. So I gravitated towards those who showed those signs, without knowing what I was doing.
I am an extremely empathetic person. If you describe a situation to me, I can feel what you're feeling. I can bring myself into your situation, and understand your feelings. While I haven't lived it and don't know what I would do, I can feel it. I cry with people, I laugh with people, and I get angry with people, based on how they feel. For me, empathy was created due to the trauma I've experienced in life. Due to having to go over every possible scenario for decades and learn my mother's cues through her behaviors. Knowing how she felt would allow me to understand what was about to happen, and how to relate to her so I could avoid a blowout.
How about we STOP blaming the victim. How about we STOP saying what the victim should've done, and start blaming the abusers that deserve it. Start blaming the people that cause the situation. Start holding those accountable that actually need it. Society has it backwards. Most people with mental health struggles, criminal history, and odd behaviors, are people that are constantly shamed for being a victim. Until we hold accountability to the correct parties, this is not going to change. Those responsible we'll continue to create populations that are shamed. Start telling them they need to stop and stop telling the victim what they "Should've done," and lets start helping them recognize they deserve better! Because they probably don't know they deserve so much better.
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