Doctor's Neglect

In a world where healing hands should soothe There are tales of patients left in rue A poem unfolds, a voice of dismay Of doctor's who cast their empathy away

Dismissed and mocked, their pain unseen Labeled as hypochondriacs, a cruel routine Gaslighted, their trust in selves slips away Leaving them lost, wondering who holds sway

Mental health patients, burdened with doubt Their bodies betrayed, their minds left without Do doctors sew seeds of mistrust deep within Leaving them to question where to begin?

Medicines prescribed, a double-edged blade Unneeded burdens on souls already frayed Untreated ailments, hidden beneath the veil While doctors sleep soundly, their patients frail

Silent sufferers, their voices subdued The worlds deaf ear claims their pain as skewed But feelings, they matter, they're a human right To be acknowledged, held in compassion's light

Let's strive for a world, where kindness prevails Where doctor's listen to their patients' tales Empathy and trust, the pillars they embrace To heal not just bodies, but hearts with grace

So, though shadows may linger, hope shall arise To rewrite this narrative, where truth never dies For every voice silenced, let ours unite In the quest for compassion, where wrongs find respite

The influence of a single individual's biased viewpoint, rooted in deceit and partial truths from a parent, extends far-reaching into communities. It frequently permeates across entire communities and even spans entire states.

I have been unjustly branded as a hypochondriac, a challenging patient, bipolar, and a liar, and it was even suggested that I had antisocial personality disorder by a primary care physician lacking expertise in psychology. None of which, are diagnosis's I actually have. Despite presenting abnormal blood work and physical symptoms, instead of receiving treatment, I was consistently redirected to my psychiatrist for medication adjustments. I have been advised to refrain from scheduling appointments as per the belief that they should be reserved for patients deemed more deserving.

During a visit at just 19 years old for the morning after pill, I found myself in tears. The nurse's demeanor was distant, her expression filled with anger. Instead of providing comfort and compassion, she callously remarked, "You shouldn't engage in intercourse if you don't wish to conceive." Her laughter implied a sense of superiority, as if I should possess this knowledge inherently, and suggested I seek psychiatric evaluation. In her records, she labeled me as excessively emotional and prone to making poor choices. Over the span of two decades, my medical summaries consistently described me as a "bipolar female." However, they now portray me as a "pleasant female."

I underwent a hysterectomy at the age of 21, alongside other procedures that no young individual should endure. Seeking medical attention for widespread pain, backaches, and neck discomfort, my records hinted at drug addiction without any positive substance tests. I was unfairly branded as a drug seeker. When slender, the advice was to consult my psychiatrist. Conversely, when overweight, the solution offered was weight loss as a cure-all.

Numerous other illnesses were addressed, yet despite this, I remained a patient with hypochondria. After relocating to another state and undergoing behavioral health assessments, the diagnoses of bipolar disorder was eliminated. Only then did proper treatment begin. It was only after receiving my diagnoses that I was told many of them had reached advanced stages because preventative measures had not been taken.

Behaviorally, I received a diagnosis of PTSD, which would technically be considered CPTSD if it were included in the DSM-5. Additionally, I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. (AuDhd) It took two years in my new state to locate a doctor who could see beyond two decades of prejudice and oversight to make a transformative impact on my life. This doctor comforted me as I wept and mourned for the girl who had been overlooked by medical professionals. She gently stroked my hair like a mother would, reassured me that I'm not crazy, and apologized for the mistreatment I received from the professionals who were supposed to help me. She changed my diagnosis from bipolar and ever since then, I have been receiving fair and high-quality medical care without much trouble.

I have long been aware of something amiss within my body. Despite this, I gradually began to accept the prevailing opinion that I was merely delusional or mentally unwell. The disconnect between how my body felt and what my mind conveyed left me feeling confused and overwhelmed. Consequently, I found myself frequently misleading those closest to me about my condition. A small amount of support, empathy, and comprehension enabled me to express my physical discomfort without fear of ridicule or accusations of hypochondria.

I have been diagnosed with multiple debilitating spine and neurological disorders, as well as pressure and fluid in my brain. I also have end stage arthritis throughout my entire body, a rare sun allergy known as solar urticaria, cushing's syndrome, and lupus, among other rare conditions. In total, I have seven autoimmune diseases, and many other complications and illnesses. Many of which wouldn't exists if treated, as one autoimmune untreated can spiral into more.

I've reached out to patient relations multiple times without any resolution. Instead of receiving an apology, the focus shifts to suggesting psychiatric medication, and eventually, they cease communication altogether. Patient relations appears biased, not truly advocating for the patients as they purport, but rather aiming to avert legal action. Patients have no means of recourse when faced with medical neglect, bias, and stigma. Accountability is lacking, leaving me to grapple with acceptance and the absence of justice in such situations.

Recently, I was in that state for my exposure therapy, facing my fear of the entire state, which is something I do often. I met with an old friend and former flame during my visit. I put together a package for the two major clinics, which included this poem, my ACE score, and a letter urging them to improve. In the letter, I shared my personal history and emphasized the importance of honoring the oath they took to do no harm.

I've contemplated pursuing a medical malpractice lawsuit, but I lack the resources to engage a skilled lawyer. Money cannot reverse the diagnoses inflicted upon me by these doctors. Pro bono medical malpractice attorneys decline my case due to the claims exceeding the two-year limit. It seems overlooked that I had to seek out a doctor who, unlike others, identified my illnesses amidst decades of bias. Presently, new diagnoses continue to surface, underscoring the enduring impact of the harm caused by these practitioners on my life.

#CPTSD

#MedicalNeglect

#MedicalMalpractice

#Bias

#ChronicallyIll