Deceit's Infection

Under the guise of friendship, you came

Promises of camaraderie, all but a sham

A specter in my life, bearing a friend’s name

But your actions, a series of betrayals, a façade

You stole from me, not just objects, but peace

Lies you weaved, intricate and suffocating

Used me as a pawn in your selfish quests with ease

Mockery in your tone, laughter contaminating

Gossip spread, venomous vines around my name

Your manipulation, a puppeteer’s cruel game

And then, the night you shattered more than glass

A bat, a smash, my car window in fragments lain

In my weakened state, impressionable, I stayed

Held by invisible chains of a twisted loyalty

But the truth as sharp as the shards displayed

You were never truly my friend, but an adversary

Yet, in the debris of this tumultuous storm

A clarity emerges, resilient and bright

The strength to rebuild, to transform

Out of the shadow of your betrayal, into the light

So, here I stand, amidst ruins and reflection

A spirit untethered, from your deceit’s infection

For in your betrayal, a gift, oddly kind

The signs to see, and the will to leave you behind

I’m gonna start this post talking about the time this “friend” stole my car. I was babysitting, and I was 17. She came with me. She said she needed cigarettes, so I let her use my car. The gas station was right down the street. I told her she had to come straight back. I shit you not, 6 hours later, she returned, after answering none of my calls, but let me tell you why she returned.

So after calling her repeatedly for about 2 hours, I ended up calling the police. The same lovely police I always speak of. The parents were already back home… The police said there’s “nothing they can do,” because I gave her the keys. (I’ve written about this before…) We also worked together. So I called my job and told them I couldn’t come in because (Name Removed) stole my car. Now, (name removed) hadn’t been put on the schedule for quite some time, for valid reasons. So they called her, told her there was a shift available, and within 10 minutes she was back with my car. I was also scheduled to work, so we both showed up and when we got there, they told her the person ended up coming in, and then officially fired her. She looked at me in desperation because she had no ride, and actually expected me to let her use my car. I don’t remember what happened after that or how she got home. I likely blocked it out.

There was a time I came to my car late at night, and noticed the windshield was smashed. I didn’t call the police because I was worried about getting to my (now) ex’s house. I snuck out of the house to go spend the night with him at his apartment. In the morning we drove back, and that’s when I called the police. Ironically, on my way to my boyfriends house, which is in the middle of nowhere on country roads, (name removed) was behind me. Followed me there. Then followed me home. The police came and took a report, while (name removed) was there. When the guys in the little red truck pulled up to replace my windshield, (name removed) was putting her fingers all over the windshield and said, “My fingerprints are on it now…” Inside I knew, but denied. Because I was that desperate for friends. I can never fully prove this, but I’m also not stupid.

She’s stolen several items from me, including an extremely expensive camera my grandparents bought me and (name removed) for Christmas when we moved in together. There are thousands of stories, but I won’t share them all. Those, are just all the biggest incidents.

#CPTSD

#Friends

#Growth