Dear (Name Removed)

In childhood’s embrace, (Name Removed), dear friend

Our memories etched, timeless blend

From mischief’s lens, we captured delight

In pictures, we danced, innocent, bright

The playhouse in your backyard’s embrace

Our laughter echoed in that sacred space

Dreams spun above, like stars in the night

Unaware of life’s storms, out of sight

Regrets may linger, like shadows unseen

Yet, know that your friendship, forever keen

You’ve blossomed, my friend, in the path you’ve pursued

A beacon of hope, with compassion accrued

A behavioral science degree in my hand

An MSW program, a noble demand

A board member’s role, a chance to impart

A difference I’ll make, with a loving heart

For we share a past, not all filled with glee

But we strive to help others, to set them free

To guide through struggles, trauma’s cruel sting

To mend broken hearts, the joy it will bring

Life’s journey, I hope, treats you with grace

Your own traumas overcome, at your own pace

And those little ones, your pride, and your joy

May their laughter and love, your spirits buoy

I miss you, dear (Name Removed), you’re on my mind

These words, a reflection of ties that bind

May Christmas bring joy, and the New Year bring cheer

May blessings shower upon you, crystal clear

So, accept this poem, a gift from my soul

A token of friendship, forever whole

May 2024 unfold, with blessings anew

And remember, dear (Name Removed), I’ll always cherish you

I've found that I put so much energy into making people feel special and put a smile on their face, that I don't stop and think what they say and think about me. A lot of my poems that went out over Christmas, 2023 (this was written 12/15/2023) were to people that know my mother's side of the story. This person in particular, is my mother's best friends daughter. In which there will be later posts about their family dynamics. My mother doing what she did to me this Christmas, me crying, no, bawling hysterically in bed for 10 hours, was it. All of these poems were sent out already at this point, but this was THE epiphany I needed, to realize why I'm drawn to these people, and why I continue to basically beg them to love me. They are not healthy people. I am attracted to them for that reason. They have ill intentions towards me, and unfortunately, I've learned that this person is also one of them, and whom I consider the, "Golden Child" in her family dynamic. In fact, about 6 years ago I was still in contact with her. I can't begin to tell you how many times she told me she would come pick me up and we'd go do something. Again, fresh, and I mean fresh out of a suicide attempt and an almost second suicide attempt. She would give me a day and time, and she wouldn't show up. She wouldn't answer my messages, either. Knowing she's just like her mother, and knowing how her mother and my mother are together, my assumption is that they all laughed about it together. Because it's funny to hurt people, according to them. That's how my mother and her best friend bond. They make fun of people, constantly. The four of us used to do it together...

In the poem it talks about taking pictures. She would know exactly what I meant. I think around 9 or 10 years old, I was sleeping over at her house. The world didn't have digital cameras yet, so we had a bunch of disposable cameras. We were laughing while taking pictures of our private parts. (I realize now, that's not normal) We didn't tell our parents, that is, until her mother went to the store after they were developed. We were right to be berated that night, I guess. Because they could've gone to prison for child pornography. I still think it's kind of funny though. That may be flawed thinking, but I smile and laugh when I think about it.

I don't think about her much anymore, and to be honest, I really didn't when I wrote this, either. As I've stated before, I am good with words. I wanted friendship, connection, and again, drawn to her because she is unhealthy for me. I never heard back from her, or anyone that's still in contact with my mother, for that matter. I'm okay with it. This one doesn't need too much processing. As she doesn't know better yet, either. She has three children by the way, triplets. I hope and pray they are not raised the same.

#Traumabond

#Toxic

#Psych2Go

#Maroon5