Courtroom Bias

In the court room’s heavy silence, I stood

Words trapped in my throat, misunderstood

The law, a tapestry I wove with care

Unraveled by a judge’s indifferent stare

My mother’s voice, a gentle plea

Echoed in the room, but not for me

The gavel fell, a thunderous sound

My arguments lost, nowhere to be found

Two days of sleepless nights, I fought

In dreams of justice, solace I sought

But numbers danced in mocking jest

Probability and statistics, a failed test

Injustice, a shadow that lingers still

A wound that time may never heal

Yet in the quiet, I find my voice

A whisper of strength, a silent choice

To rise again, despite the fall

To seek the truth, to stand tall

For in the heart of every storm

A seed of resilience is born

This is another issues I've written about before but am struggling to accept and get over, and another reason I advocate and fight for people to the point where I'm mentally exhausted and my personal life takes a hit. I sent several orders for contempt into the courts when my son was still a minor because my visitation rights, that were so clearly spelled out in the court order were not being enforced. His father was never held in contempt and the visitation was never enforced.

My mother forged my signature to say I lived with her so my son could attend the high school. (In fact, I've found several occasions she's done this, but according to my small town police department, it was a false claim. All they did was ask my mother if she did it, when she replied no, it was an immediate, "False Claim." Despite being able to prove I was already living in Michigan at the time and date the forms said... I'm sure they laughed about it) See, my son's father had psychical custody, we had joint decision making rights, even though I was never allowed to be involved in the decisions despite the court order, nor was his father ever held in contempt for that.

When my son was a baby and we were first going through family court, they would not allow our parents in the room, because they weren't, "Parties." Yet, this time, my mother was not only welcomed and engaged, she was spoken to kindly, asked questions I wasn't asked, yet, when it came to enforcing the court order, the courts would tell me that she's not a party so they can't enforce anything. Great job following the law in an unbiased way!

Living in Michigan, legal aid here could not help me because they are not licensed in Wisconsin. Wisconsin legal aid wouldn't help me because I live in Michigan, so I had to represent myself. I was taking probability and statistics at the time, and was up for days at a time without sleep, studying Wisconsin family law. Word for word. Clearly underlying and highlighting the violations and reasons his father should be held in contempt. Along with my rights, and the statues that followed. In fact, I was so stressed, I went to my doctor and asked for, "Strong sleeping pills." 5 years later I still have 4 of the 9 that were prescribed. That's some strong stuff! I slept for 17 hours the first time I took one!

I tried to voice my concern about contempt. The judge said, "If they had done something to keep you out of his school records, then he could be held in contempt." I'm over here thinking, did you even read the evidence I sent in, where it clearly states that his high school had no idea I existed? Yet, "My" signature is on the form saying I live with my mother, along with the world's most fake lease, so that he can attend? So the school knew of my mother, but not me. It was all in the evidence, and it's still sitting in binders which I've organized for proof. Any who, I tried to speak up again to tell the judge that they did in fact purposely keep me out of his school proceedings. At the end of the conversation the judge asked his father's lawyer if he had anything further today, the judge asked my sons lawyer if she had anything further to say, the judge then asked my mother if she had anything further to say. Then he ended the meeting and told me I could appeal. HAHA. Jackass. You know damn well that you are all purposely looking past the law. My sons' father also used, "Borderline Personality Disorder," as a reason I'm unfit, but that is a trauma disorder that's developed in childhood from a toxic, unstable, and abusive environment, where the courts left my son to live in. Turns out that's not even what I have.

As you can see by my heated and passionate writing, this is something that is going to take a very long time for me to process and work through. Let's be real. We all have emotions. We all behave in ways that are not normal sometimes. This is trauma. That's the point of these blogs. I'm just trying to be real.

#CPTSD