Complex Dysfunction
- Hannah L
- Jul 14, 2024
- 2 min read
In the quiet of the night beneath a sky so vast
I miss you more than words can say feeling so vast
The journey we’ve walked lined with truths and shadows
A tapestry of love entwined with our sorrows
The abnormalities of our world so stark, so rife
A family’s tale a complex weave of life
Every stitch a story every color a moment’s light
A pattern of dysfunction yet shining oh so bright
I pray with a fervent heart as each day anew
That healing finds its way to you in everything you do
May the cycle break with strength and love anew
For in your future blooms a chance to start true
In the silence of last night tears freely did flow
Wishing for moments lost in the heart’s gentle glow
To play, to laugh to give all that’s due
The clock’s hand rewind for a second act anew
The attention you deserved a debt I can never repay
But know my love for you shines bright as day
I’m sorry for the shadows, for the pain that ensued
Your strength, your grace forever my gratitude imbued
I love you beyond the stars, beyond what words can convey
A love so vast it could light the darkest way
Forgive me, my dear, for the paths we’ve trod
Your light, your love, a gift from the Gods
So, with these words, a poem, a whispered breeze
I send you my love, my hopes for peace
May you find in life, in your children’s eyes
The love, the joy, that in you, forever lies
I was in bed reading last night, and read something about when children have rough days, they don’t come home and stomp around and act stressed out; they ask you to play with them. I started bawling my eyes out. I can’t count the number of times I wouldn’t play with my son. The number of times I said no. The number of times I chose to be on my phone, watch, tv, not leave the couch, etc. So much guilt, so much remorse. It doesn’t matter where I learned it from, or why I was engulfed in technology, I just know I was a bad mom. I was present, like my mother, but not emotionally, also like my mother. I contributed to my son’s bad days by making them worse. Simply because I didn’t have the “time” to play with him. That’s a harsh reality I have to live with.
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