Boundaries

Boundaries are lines we draw with care

To protect our hearts, our minds laid bare

Firm and clear, they stand upright

Shielding us from harm and blight

Respect is key in this grand scheme

Honoring others’ like a precious dream

Without boundaries, we’re lost at sea

Bound to suffer, never truly free

So, set them boldly, without any fear

Your needs and worth are oh so clear

Boundaries are protection, a sign of love

For you, for others, guided from above

Remember, boundaries aren’t selfish or wrong

They’re a melody, a sweet, strong song

In harmony, we dance with glee

Respecting all, setting ourselves free

I had no idea what the word boundary meant until about 5 years ago. I clearly never had boundaries. I didn't set my own, nor did I listen to anyone else's boundaries. I was not taught to set them. I was taught to continuously bend my boundaries out of fear of consequences or really, my mother not loving me. I grew up with the message that if I stood up for myself, that meant my mother was not going to love me anymore. The phrase, "You're so hard to love," was repeated so many times throughout my childhood. And maybe she's right, I mean, I've heard that from many different men as well, but I was hard to love because of my childhood trauma. I was hard to love because I couldn't be what my mother wanted me to be. I was hard to love because my behaviors were erratic as I was screaming for help. I was hard to love because I experienced many different types of trauma, and was repeatedly shamed and embarrassed by each event.

I know differently now. I've learned through years of vigorous therapy and many hard life lessons within relationships, that setting boundaries is not selfish, as my mother would say. Putting myself first, is not selfish, as she also would say. It's a form of self-love, something I also learned over the past 6 years. It's how we form and maintain healthy relationships.

Photo Credit to an unknown, online source through Facebook

#Boundaries

#CPTSD

#SelfLove