In shadows deep, a mother’s plea unheard
Betrayal’s bitter sting, a heart so scarred
With treachery, they tore your world apart
Used innocence to tear your life apart
A son caught in a web of deceit and lies
Schemes woven with deceit, no truth belies
In courts of justice, mockery and scorn
Your truth silenced, your spirit worn
Your love, a beacon in the darkest night
Yearning for your son, a mother’s plight
Their laughter echoes through the hollow halls
But in your heart, a love that never stalls
Through trials deep, you stand with grace
Seeking solace in this unjust place
Yet within you burns a fierce light
A mother’s love, unwavering, bright
Hold on, dear soul, the truth will shine
Injustice fades, love’s light aligns
Your voice, a whisper, then a roar
For a mother’s love endures evermore
While experiencing domestic violence, I asked my mother if I could come home. She first called my ex-fiancé to "verify" his abuse. She said no. At the time, I had full placement of my son, and he saw his father every other weekend. Instead of offering me solace and refuge, my mother had my 12 year old son video tape everything in the house. She shared that information with my son's father, who, presented me with court papers, threatening to take me to court if I didn't sign custody over to him. In the back of my mind, I knew that my environment was not safe for my son. I knew that he could grow up learning it's okay to beat women and to treat them in such evil ways, or he could grow up to take that sort of abuse. My son's father tried to leave out any written visitation. When I questioned it, he said, "I would never keep him from you, you know that." (Gaslighting) I was at least smart enough to write myself visitation, that was not only withheld from me, but not held up in court. Nor did the courts hold his father in contempt. (See, the law is subjected. It can be followed, or not...) We still had 50/50 custody, which means we had equal decision making rights, but the judge never held his father in contempt for violating my rights and for not following the court order. The judge didn't let me speak in the court hearings, and definitely didn't look at the countless information I submitted on generational abuse. I call my son's father and my mother, "besties." They got joy and pain out of taking advantage of my weakened mental health state, (which I now know as a trauma buildup and a literal robot, not even experiencing reality) laughed about it, and thought it was funny. His father finally got the revenge he wanted. To hurt me by using our son.
My son's father ended up with full placement, yet, my son lived with my mother. This would continue even after I moved states. I wanted my son, his father didn't, yet he ended up with my mother. My mother would later forge my signature on a fake lease that she wrote up, telling her school district that I live with her. I lived in Michigan when she forged my name, but that didn't matter to not only the courts, but to my lovely small town police department. Apparently the law is only upheld when the situation matches the opinions of the authorities involved. She also forged my signature over several documents within the family court system, spanning years but that's okay, according to everyone else. And I learned the law well. I was studying probability and statistics at the time while in my bachelors program, which I would later fail and have to re-take, because I was up studying the statutes, since I couldn't afford a lawyer. (And stressed to the max) I highlighted everything. I could've defending anyone but myself, as when you advocate for someone else, they listen, but not when you advocate for yourself and present them with the law they took an oath to uphold! I was not treated the same in the court room as my son's father and his lawyer, (whom my mother paid for) and for some reason, my mother. In past family court proceedings, we were told our parents couldn't attend because they were not parties, or parents. In these proceedings, I was told that they couldn't make my mother enforce the court order because she wasn't a party or a parent. Yet, she was not only welcomed, but invited to attend the sessions. She was allowed to speak, but I wasn't. I tried to speak up, but the judge interrupted me. Yet, the court order was not being followed. He said that my son's father couldn't be held in contempt unless it interfered with his school in some way. Knowing damn well I submitted proof that they lied to his high school and purposely left out that he had a mother and his information, which was required per our court order, and that when I submitted my own documentation to his school, they said, "we didn't know he even had a mother." None of this makes sense? Yeah, me, either. So the judge asked my son's lawyer if they had anything else to add, (as I'm waiting to remind him of the school forms and malicious intent to purposely disclose me from my son's records) he then asked my son's father's lawyer if she had anything to add, he then asked my mother if she had anything to add. They all said no, and then he ended the meeting. (This was zoom, and I was clearly trying to speak) He did mention that I could file an appeal, clearly knowing he didn't intend to let me, the mother, speak, and also knowing that no one was going to do anything about it, and no one did. How's that, for the "justice" system? The law applies to judges and their opinions, and nothing more.
I'm not saying I didn't do anything wrong, because I did. I'm saying, my mental health had taken such a toll at that point in my life, that to this day, I still struggle to distinguish what was real or not during that time. I wasn't in my right mind after decades of traumatic events, a father that abandoned me after molesting me, a mother who clearly hated me, and an ex-fiancé, who threatened my life on almost a daily basis. What I'm saying, is that there is no justice. The law shouldn't even exist if you're going to break it and continue to get away with it due to your biased opinions. Just another one of the millions of reasons I am so determined to make a difference in this world, and become a social worker and a therapist, to spot this bull shit, to save children, and to hold people accountable. This is why I'm so vulnerable with the truth on this page, and why some day I'll have the "balls" to tell you all exactly who I am. Someone has to stand up for those who don't have a voice. Someone should've stood up for me, somewhere, along the way. I am that person.
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