A Year of Words
- Hannah L
- Jan 30
- 3 min read
In the quiet of my mind
A seed of thought began to grow
A blog was born, a space to find
A place where my true self could show
Through days of doubt and nights of fear
I penned my heart, I shared my soul
Each post a step, each word sincere
A journey towards a greater whole
Twelve months have passed, a year gone by
With every entry, I have grown
In ever line, a piece of sky
In every story, seeds are sown
Proud I stand, for I have stayed
Through storms of doubt, through waves of pain
A testament to dreams displayed
A year of growth, a year of gain
Here's to the words that paved the way
To every thought, to every tear
A celebration of today
A blog that’s stood the test of the year
My mother would say this blog is a bunch of lies, and proof that I'm crazy, off my meds, and she was right about everything. Even IF she were right, who am I hurting by creating this? Another one of my mother's favorite things to say it, "She never tries anything. She has so much potential, but she never tries and she never follow through with anything she does." It doesn't matter that I've completed 3 degrees, working on my graduate degree, or that I'm killing my body doing my unpaid internship, working a part time job and succeeding. None of that will ever matter.
So, I write this poem for yet another success. The success of being dedicated to this website. Remember, the goal isn't to be popular. The goal is to save or help just one person, which this blog has reached at least that already. It's about leaving the 99 to save the one. It's about spreading awareness to that one person, that reading these things may change their lives. It may save them from completing suicide, from feeling like they are broken and worthless. But don't mistake, it's also about me. About another year of proving my mother wrong, despite her never admitting that I am capable of finishing the things I start. It's a success to me, as I am not hurting anyone by keeping up on this blog. This blog has been a tremendously helpful coping tool in my healing and recovery. It's helped me to grow. Do I pay for a domain site? Yes! Because I'll reach that, "One" person easier by being found on Google.
The proof that I see, and that many others see, is that I've not been on bipolar medication for over 7 years. I've gone through vigorous therapy, and while I still have many of the same interests and qualities, I am a completely different person at the same time. I am growing, changing, and I am no longer in that environment that traumatized me so much. Although I've taken many trips back for exposure therapy, removing myself, creating a new environment, a new social circle, and a new life, WITHOUT that diagnoses, and WITHOUT any of that medication that did nothing but make me drool, cause anxiety and insomnia, and kept me compliant with my mother. That is my proof, and that is now all that I need.
So, if you're reading this, I hope this blog gives you the courage to do the same. The road to recovery is not easy. It is hard, painful, and there are times you'll want to give up. But let me tell you, the amount of smiling I've found myself doing, the bouts of happiness I've felt over the past few years that I've never genuinely felt before, is more than worth the pain. You have to go through it to process and move on. You matter. Your story matters, and I want to hear it and share it, with your permission of course. This is how we create change and make a difference.
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