A Mother's Regret
- Hannah L
- Oct 28, 2024
- 2 min read
In a world of shadows, where regrets reside
There dwells a mother, with tears she cannot hide
For in her heart, a longing deep and strong
Yearning for the son she’s loved for so long
Once a boy, innocent and full of glee
She held him close, as he sat upon her knee
But time slipped away, like grains through her hand
Leaving memories of a child she can’t withstand
Now a man, navigating life’s bitter strife
She blames herself for every twist and every strife
She carries the weight of his struggles, high and low
Wishing she could shield him from the world’s cruel blow
Oh, how she dreams of holding him once more
To guide him through life’s tempestuous shore
But she fears he’ll never want her near
Lost in the tides of anger, pain, and fear
Yet her love remains, unwavering and true
A beacon of hope, to guide him through
She yearns for his happiness, a joy so pure
To let him know his worth, to reassure
Though the road seems long, and bridges may be burned
A mother’s love, forever undeterred
She prays that one day, he’ll hear her plea
To find solace in her arms, to once again be free
For in her heart, she holds him dear
A love that transcends time, so crystal clear
And though she may be haunted by regrets cruel sting
Her love will forever soar on angel’s wings
So, dear son, if ever you read these lines
Know that your mother’s love eternally shines
She longs to be by your side, to ease your pain
To Tell you how much you’re loved, again and again
I have so many regrets. This is a part in therapy that has been hard to accept. It's been hard to forgive myself for repeating patterns. It's been hard to forgive myself despite living in survival mode and not knowing better. My son is right to feel the way he does. No matter the reason, I hurt him, in many ways, and forgiving myself has not been easy. Living with regrets of wishing I were a better mother eats me up every single day. It's largely why I spend my days protecting children. Again, my heart rate is rising, my face is hot and I'm sick to my stomach. I'm triggered with grief, and I just miss him so much.
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