7 years have passed and I’m still here
I’ve fought the pain and all the fear
I’ve learned to love myself and find my worth
I’ve found a way to heal and give birth
To a new beginning, a fresh start
I’ve found joy and peace within my heart
I’ve realized that I am enough
And that my life is filled with love
I’m grateful for the strength that I found
And for the hope that keeps me sound
So here’s to 7 more years and beyond
I’ll keep on living, I’ll keep staying strong
7 years ago from today, I attempted to end my life. I'm not as triggered these days as I've learned coping tools and my emotions are much less intense. But my stomach sinks as I write this, as I grieve for that lost woman that thought the world would be better off without. I grieve for the woman who needed a parent who loved her unconditionally. I grieve for the woman who thought she was broken and flawed, for the woman who thought she didn't deserve any better than abusive relationships, for the woman who screamed for help for decades and felt she had no other choice.
I never would've imagined all the good that would come of this. All the people I've been able to help, to save, all the good I've done since. I never would've imagined I'd be heading towards my dream of being a therapist. (By the time this is posted that internship will be over, and I'll be starting to look for a new one. Just one year left of school!) I never would've thought I'd be truly loved unconditionally by anyone, respected, admired, etc. I still have trouble with anxiety and Imposter Syndrome, but I'm making a difference. My experiences in life have helped so many people. Not that what I went through was okay, but it's literally saved other lives.
If you are struggling with suicidal ideation, please reach out to the crisis text line for support.
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